What is your WHY?

Financial Freedom is the goal of my Year-Long Adventure Toward Freedom that started in June (2015). Part of my process has been defining what “Financial Freedom” means to me –it’s different for everyone. I think a lot of people have the idea that Financially Free people are super rich, the big expensive house, vacation homes, fancy cars, elaborate jewelry and outlandish vacations. For some people – this may be the goal of Financial Freedom.

For me, Financial Freedom is having enough passive income to cover all of my expenses. Also maintaining zero debt (with the exception of mortgage debt which passive income streams pay for). There’s another question that needs to go along with “What is Financial Freedom to you?” and it is “What is your WHY for desiring financial freedom?”

We just spent a month in my hometown of Chillicothe, MO. My sister and brother-in-law are gracious hosts and allow us to park our RV in their driveway (it’s a beautiful camping spot). This is the longest period of time I’ve spent at home for over 25 years, and we had an absolute blast. We’re driving down the highway now, heading back home to Texas and I miss my family and friend Brenda terribly.

Last year my Mom passed away. As my family shared stories and memories about my Mom I was saddened that I missed so much. I missed all the fun family times they had, celebrating birthdays, family get together’s, bbq’s, card games, etc. I missed the little things in life that are priceless.

This last month was action-packed and so many wonderful memories were made:

• State Fair in Sedalia, MO with a bonus Alabama concert with family
• Family fish fry, and my cousins even went along with the silly games I had lined up
• Lots of morning walks with one of my dearest friends
• Family card night, with lots of laughter and pranks
• Wednesday night became a weekly date for Happy Hour at the local bowling alley
• And just lots of time visiting with family members and friends

Living in Texas over the last 25+ years, I’d lost touch with my cousins and hometown friends, I have absolutely treasured reconnecting and spending time. I want to create more of this in my life.

I also love adventures and want nothing more than to spend time traveling the country in our RV and explore beautiful places. I’ve spent the last 2 days in Jessieville, AR at Ron Coleman’s Crystal Mine, digging in the dirt. And guess what, I met a few folks who are financially free. Dale is a retiree from Michigan, his pension and investments more than pay for his living expenses. Dale lives in a modest travel trailer and has spent the last couple of months digging at the crystal mine. In the winter months he’ll head to Florida to visit relatives, then onto Tucson, AZ and Quartzite, AZ in January/February for their big Rock and Gem shows, he is a professed “Rock Hound”. I also met Stan and Mary. They are both retired, again living on their investments. They still have a stick and brick home in Oklahoma, but also have a brand new 5^th wheel trailer and ¾ Ton Pickup. Stan had done very well in his career, and his advise was – if you have extra money, spend it on things that will make you happy.

I’ve learned over the years that “stuff” doesn’t make me happy. Spending time with special people, exploring beautiful places, and having fun adventures fill my life with happiness.

So 2 questions for you today – 1. What does financial freedom mean to you? And 2. What is your why?

The Love of My Life

I get daily “memories” from Facebook – they usually make my day. Today’s memory was The Love of My Life – Dillon. A well of emotions sprung up and I made some time in my day to reflect.

For Valentines Day of 2000 a dear friend gave me a present that I was not suspecting – in fact, it was the farthest thing from my mind at the time. As this friend came in the door I noticed something was off. After a brief conversation with her, my eyes caught his for the first time — it was love at first sight. I can’t explain it, but I knew and so did he. It was like we were soul mates and had loved each other in past lives. There on the floor was the most beautiful 8-week-old Yellow Lab puppy I’d ever laid my eyes on. I’m an avid animal lover (especially Labradors), but my connection with this guy was different – I don’t think I’ll experience this kind of bond again in my lifetime.   Water Dance Dillon became a part of my life – a part of my family. For the rest of his life he showed me unconditional love and acceptance.

Dillon was full of life and energy. I’m not the best companion animal disciplinarian and in his younger years – he was wild. In 2003 I met my now partner for the first time. We dated for quite awhile before she met Dillon. She became suspicious when all of my friends would say to her, “So, you haven’t met Dillon yet…”. He was like Pooh’s Tiger with springs in his legs – for their first encounter I asked her to just walk in the door backwards and ignore him (I’m grateful she didn’t take that opportunity to run, run far away). Dillon was sweet and lovable and it wasn’t long that he’d won Pat over as well. Pat was a great pet parent for Dillon; he calmed down and became such a well-behaved boy with her influence in his life. Pat and I used to joke, it was a good thing she fell in love with Dillon, if she would have asked me to make a choice; she knew I would choose Dillon.

Dillon was a big part of our world. I made sure he was loved, well taken care of and spoiled rotten. He enjoyed parties, holidays, family get together’s, hiking and best of all – he loved me. He loved babies too, not sure where he learned this, but he always knew to be gentle and sweet. Everyone loved Dillon (or Dilbert as he was fondly called).

Pat and I love to travel. On several occasions we were lucky to have Pat’s sister, Bobbi come and stay with our fids while we were gone. It was a perfect arrangement, Bobbi loved Dillon too and truth be told, took better care of him than we did. We took a trip to Pagosa Springs, CO in July 2010 and Bobbi wasn’t able to come stay with Dillon. We had put the dogs in a great kennel, something he’d done when he was younger. I was horrified when we returned, Dillon’s eyes were bloodshot, and he was hoarse. I don’t think he recognized me at first. I’m not sure what happened during that visit (our little Cairn Terrier was just fine) – but I vowed to never leave my big guy again after that. We love to travel, so to solve our dilemma we bought an RV in September of 2010. Dillon loved it – he went everywhere with us from that point on.

As Dillon got to be an old guy, he slowed down a lot. He was a snuggle bunny and was attached to me like Velcro. I have to admit I loved that. He was the best medicine and therapy through bad times. He saw me through a layoff, through my Dad’s cancer, numerous times when my Mom was in the hospital, job changes, and several painful losses – my cousin who was my age now, my uncle, we lost 3 beloved pets, in July, 2011 we lost Bobbi, in July 2012 we lost my step-Mom.

April 14, 2012 had to be the worst day of my life. It was a Saturday, as I got up in the morning I knew something was wrong with Dillon. He was having trouble standing and didn’t want to eat. I rushed him to the emergency vet, which is a 40-minute drive. This isn’t our first trip to the emergency vet, actually Dillon is a pro at these trips by now. Throughout the years he’d eaten a large quantity of chocolate and needed to go for observation and charcoal, he’d eaten Christmas decorations, and he’d also tested Enhanced Sports Performance Vitamins. He’d also had bloat, and I thought for sure we’d lose him then. I truly believe he had more lives than most cats. I was hoping this time he’d get another life too. Our Emergency Vet has been awesome. They got Dillon in right away. After an initial exam they determined he had internal bleeding and would need surgery to have his spleen removed. I hate that they want to talk with you before the procedure to go over cost and determine what you want to do. I’m so grateful that I was able to say just do it, whatever it takes, please save him. Sitting in the waiting room is emotional and sad. I witnessed many other pet owners who were not able to make the same decision to save their pets – it’s absolutely heart wrenching. If I could make a plea – pet owners please get Pet Insurance for your beloved family members – you never want to be in a situation where you can’t afford to save their lives.

Dillon made it through surgery, but our Vet gave us the horrific news, Dillon had Hemangiosarcoma, a common blood cancer for some dog breeds. I was devastated. We had a couple of Traditional Veterinarians tell us were would be lucky to have a few weeks left with him. The next few weeks I was a mess, I cried, I was angry, and I spent A LOT of time doing research on the Internet. Dillon wasn’t ready to give up and I wasn’t going to give up on him. I know this sounds corny, but one of the best things I did was get in touch with an animal communicator. I wanted to know what Dillon was thinking. I got the message loud and clear – he didn’t want me to worry, he didn’t want me to be sad, he wanted me to enjoy spending time with him. From that moment forward – we focused on LIVING and THRIVING!

We found a wonderful functional veterinarian, Dr. Will Falconer. He gave us hope. We switched Dillon from a kibble diet to raw meat (and boy did he love that). Dr. Falconer prescribed Homeopathic remedies, which we could tell, made a big difference for Dillon. I could tell he felt so much better and looking at him, you’d never know he was sick. We learned A LOT about alternative and better ways to care for our pets (vaccinations is another topic).

I knew we didn’t have a lot of time left, so I was going to make it the best. Dillon loved his RV adventures, so we took even more and made great memories. During 2012 we went to Missouri for my nieces graduation in May, we then went to Colorado for vacation in June to Ouray and Golden – he loved his slow walks smelling new things. The next couple of months were trips to Tulsa to be with my Dad after his wife passed. Dillon had a lot of visitors during this time too – family and friends coming to see him. In November we took a long trip to Florida and Georgia. Spending time on the beaches in Ft Myers, a few days in Orlando, and time with family in Atlanta. During this trip we celebrated his 13^th Birthday, it was so bittersweet knowing it would probably be his last. When the end is close, you cherish each milestone you reach. Around Thanksgiving I could tell he was slowing down a bit more and he did have a couple of internal bleed episodes, which is common for dogs with Hemangiosarcoma.

We made our final RV trip to Missouri for Christmas. I knew it would be the last, he was declining rapidly and needed a lot help walking – I knew, and so did he, neither one of us wanted to admit it though. Dillon loved to open presents; this year was no different. Our trip from Missouri to Texas was very quiet. In the last 8 ½ months our lives had revolved around the care of Dillon. By this time he’d quit eating – he could no longer stand, even with our help. For New Years Eve we had a bunking party on our living room floor — sleeping with Dillon for the very last time.  Pat called a wonderful in home veterinarian service. On New Years Day, 2013 they came to our home. I held Dillon and told him I loved him. He slipped away in my arms.

In the last 2 ½ years I’ve learned that grief is like the ocean, it ebbs and flows. It isn’t with me always, and other emotions are not absent in grief. To my surprise, joy, grief, happiness, sadness and love can all live in the same space, at the same time. I’m grateful that big yellow dog chose me.